Monday 9 September 2019

The Return of Sisyphus!

Gladiator, Spartacus, Napoleon, neh Bambi: but who the 'f' was Sisyphus!!!!!

In a World (who said a movie about movie trailer voiceovers could't ever be fuck u …amazing...)

Arnold Schwarzenegger is maybe Sisyphus, is maybe Bruce Willis, is maybe Dolph Lungren, is maybe Jackie Chan. Maybe: Melissa McCarthy, Amy Schumer, Aisling Bea, Samantha Bee Bee Bee Buzz, Amy Sedaris (as maybe a rock lizard, of course. impersonating Peter Ustinov at RADA just sitting numb flicking their tongue). Of course: Sarah 'Silverback' Silverman (..as the doubting Cactus High Priest…). Greta Gerwig as the cobra. Lily Taylor as 'the wind'. Ellen Burstyn as 'the night descending'…
We'll all soundin' like Lerner and Lowe's The Little Prince now.
Ahhh…happy families….

Boris Johnson: small but very well formed part as 'the other insignificant rock'. See what marketing experience me gainesed in America! BAFTA guaranteed Boris. Trust me.





                                                 And I was Beautiful...


SIS is maybe a better title. All sorts of possible jokes there. Don't steal the idea you 'mothers'! Some zeros on the left side of the decimal point rather than the right would be appreciated:) The Great Escape meets Mikio Naruse meets Ricky Gervais meets Vincente Minnelli meets Mel Brooks all downed with a bottle of tequila.


**** SPOILER ALERT ******

Final scene.
Ext. Sunset.
All the characters are sat in a circle. Silent and still. Six feet behind them the sea is lapping all around. A huge boulder sits precariously on an unlevel mound of earth in the middle of the circle. Some characters extremities are very close to touching, others not. Some have a look as if asking "what did I do wrong, when I did everything right in this relationship". Some gently smile. Some are very close to tears but resist.

CU (Boulder POV):
Sisyphus stares at the boulder with the sun setting behind him. Some of its specks of dust get caught by the wind. We see the little particles dissipate into the air. We track a couple heading toward Sisyphus' face. He uses it as a excuse to wipe away a tear, but the wind has already caught it carrying the water droplet. It does not fall but dances in the sky like a dandelion seed.

SFX zoom out:
Slow zoom out revealing the enormous sea and the little island of characters. The sea has no waves anymore. The tear droplet sparkles like a gemstone. The strings of a small celtic harp are heard. The camera continues zooming out. We can barely see the droplet or the island. They are but specks of light as the evening light draws in. There is no credit roll simply a 3-5 minute slow zoom out like a Sugimoto photo. The camera passes through a dark haze finally revealing the silhouette of a small child seen by what looks like a water's edge, the camera continuing to zoom back into eternity. The figure picks up a pebble, throws it to skim across the water's surface.
It keeps skimming. And skimming. And skimming.

Cut to black.
The End.


[as a P.S.- this idea is growing on me. FOR REAL! Live action animation. And the 'i' in Sis would look great on the poster as a boulder for the dotted 'i' etc etc. There would be loads of great parts for everyone with no part really any greater than another. The women would be equal to the men or at least be allowed a 'fighting chance'. No violence, no swear words except sorta The Good Place made up swear words.]





Sunday 28 April 2019

The White House Correspondents' Dinner 2019

                             The White House Correspondents' Dinner 2019



Realising this blog has become an infrequent visitor over the past years, I wanted to take the opportunity to thank all those who supported the idea since its inception. Some, strangely, even embraced it! One journalist seemed to delight in belittling me and humiliating me at ever possible turn. Belittle the words by all means but not the wordsmith.

Not ever easy and ironically if it weren't for my woeful transport experiences the blog would never have been born. Then I thought maybe this could grow into something rather than be still-born.

I hope I was always fair-minded. And while any amount of gratis food and wine at film screenings might have made my mind merrier than arrival from the outside world, my judgment could never be clouded.

It became way way too long but then I rightly felt an obligation to reciprocate a PR's invitation and give coverage. I still believe that.

When author/historian Ron Chernow last night extolled the virtues of student and local and independent journalism, remember that the average New Yorker, let alone American, had no idea of underground trains derailing, trains stuck in tunnels and the severe mental stress all this caused many. Nor the powers of London's Metropolitan Police and their 'PACE' areas of stop and search. Nor the local reasons for Brexit. Nor the British Government and the D-Notice.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-41849256

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/stop-and-search-knife-crime-uk-police-government-a8846406.html

https://www.independent.ie/world-news/and-finally/what-is-a-dnotice-debunking-claims-the-media-is-being-gagged-over-the-grenfell-fire-35834435.html

Equally, Londoners would have no idea of say corruption in Rockland County or the suicide of Nicole Katherine Orttung (21) a promising young Columbia University student journalist. Nor this story from student journalists.

I hasten to add, one must use Noam Chomsky due diligence when believing anything in the media.

Do these films have anything in common?

Arbitrage
Unsane
Oranges and Sunshine
A Place in the Sun
Beast
Dark Places
Venom
In and Out
Charade
The Spy Who Came in from the Cold
I Feel Pretty
First Reformed
The Towering Inferno
Chronic